开新帖。请在此帖中贴出你认为好笑的英文笑话及幽默。我先贴一个，抛砖引玉：
Bush got something wrong with his brain. So he went to see a doctor. After medical examination, the doctor told him, “Your brain has two parts: left and right. Your left brain has nothing right, and your right brain has nothing left”.

Quote:

引用第0楼dyrz于2006-09-13 11:54发表的“English humors”:
开新帖。请在此帖中贴出你认为好笑的英文笑话及幽默。我先贴一个，抛砖引玉：
Bush got something wrong with his brain. So he went to see a doctor. After medical examination, the doctor told him, “Your brain has two parts: left and right. Your left brain has nothing right, and your right brain has nothing left”.

哈哈，不错！这也是英文才会产生的幽默

Here is another one about miscommunication. Enjoy.
Miscommunication

A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have a great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the doorbell, because the young couple haven't paid their last bill. "Are you Mrs. Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man from the electric company.
"What are you saying? It's in your files?????"
"Absolutely."
"Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight."
That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to the electric company office the first thing the next morning.
"What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?"
"Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? And if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut you off."
"And what would my wife do then?"
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

哈哈，真是不错!

leon，多发点这样的上来，呵呵

哈哈，这说明老外的语言真的很简单，完全不同的事情竟然用同样的句子，词语匮乏啊……

There was a medical professor who was strongly against drinking. He went around giving lectures to people about how harmful alcohol is.   He tried very hard but did not get much result after all.

So one day, when he was giving lecture, he did a simple demonstration. He placed two glasses in front of the group, one with water and the other with pure alcohol.

First he placed a worm on the glass with water. After moving for a while, the worm dropped into the water. Soon the worm crawled out of the water and nothing happened to the worm. So the professor put the worm on the 2nd glass. Again, the worm dropped into the glass after moving for a while. This time, the worm got so weak and could not crawled out of the alcohol. So, finally the worm died in the alcohol.

So the professor said to the group " You see drinking is really bad for health. Would you dare take alcohol again?"

The group remained silent. After 5 mins, one alcoholic broke the silence and said "Oh drinking is good. At least I know there would not be any worm in my stomach."

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Director of Nursing became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in his bathroom with the belt of his robe right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead!" Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself; I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

such a poor guy Jim is.

Sons' Gifts to Mother
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the
gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. Remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. I sent her a remarkable
parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the
parrot recites it."

Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks.
"Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"

"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."

Shaving off his beard

A married man was visiting his girlfriend one day, when she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face." James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!"

"Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice. "Oh really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!" The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in.

That night, James crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

The wife woke up somewhat, felt his face and replied "Oh, Michael, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"